Every Chinese Girl I’ve Tried to Be – A Sonnet
2022
What of mine would I give up to be her?
Taper my legs thin, an A4-sized waist,
pinch nose ‘til pointed; delicate, tethered.
Plaster on her Douyin1 face, mine replaced.
Carve her language into my softened teeth,
into my skin; scrub ‘til pale and demure,
till I bleed just like her, even beneath.
华人2at heart, I say; always sure.
Girls like her, they’ve always known who they are.
Transparent, pure, flawless majority
from porcelain ancestry. She’s a far
dream from your bloodstream; who you’ll never be.
She is perfect. All your attempts can cease.
Kill yourself and still, you won’t be chinese.